As with all the other blogs in this series, I hope that those who don’t profess faith in Jesus would consider my perspective, and whether what I say has any bearing on their lives. However my main problem is with those who do profess faith, yet have the exact same heart issues as those who don’t. What’s the heart issue this week? Making that ideal relationship into such a big deal, that we actually believe that it will solve most, if not all, of our emotional and other problems.
Again, while I recognize that my tone may suggest I’ve never had this happen to me or that I’m over it, I’m not, and it is only from within the struggle that I speak to you. So that’s a long enough intro.
Again, I need the participation of the audience to honestly evaluate themselves as they answer my questions, it is easy enough to deny that you’ve done any of the following:
Found yourself thinking or even saying, “if only I could find that guy/girl, then I wouldn’t be so _____________ (lonely, insecure, miserable, etc.)”. Or maybe you’ve thought that once you find that person, life really gets started. The funny thing is, once you get into the relationship, you end up being, “if only my significant other would stop doing __________, or start doing _______, then I wouldn’t be so ___________ (lonely, miserable, grouchy, etc.)
Sorry about all the blanks.
The point is if we really think about it, no person of the opposite sex is going to save us from our selves or our negative feelings, and chances are we will be in the same state or worse once we get into a relationship. The biggest difference is, now we have all the other person’s problems as well. Ha ha. Kind of a cruel joke, but in the words of radio head, “you do it to yourself”.
To the Girls: all guys are going to fail and disappoint you in some way!
To the Guys: all girls are going to fail and disappoint you in some way!
Why? Because they are not God.
So what is it about not having that person in our lives that makes us so miserable? I can tell you what it is for me. Maybe I feel like I’m missing out. Maybe I feel like I lost something of such great value, that I can never ever find it anywhere else. Yeah, I think that last one is the biggest one. That’s what happened to me this summer. That’s why it hurt so much. I had already imagined how life would be like with that other person in my life, and when it turned out… well, when they got engaged… I felt like I lost something irreplaceable, something I will never ever find again.
But for those who know Jesus, there’s where have to snap out of it. Why? Because He created all people! Male and Female! Think about it. God created people from His IMAGINATION!. Everything we have ever liked about someone: how they look, what their voice sounds like, their sense of humor, their taste in movies, HOW THEY MAKE US FEEL… that was all invented by God, and therefore He will inevitably be the highest concentration of all that good stuff – all the stuff we “love” or love. Everything we love in the opposite sex came from God. Think about this one for a second.
Genesis 1:26 & 27:
Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
So what we are to God what a photograph is to us. Why would you fall in love with a picture when you can have the real thing? I think Scott Brown says it best,
“We desire other people so much because they are the closest thing to God without getting God.”
So maybe you’ll join me in recognizing my foolish belief that the opposite sex will save me, and start filling my mind with the truth: That only Jesus saves. Because all this time, He is what we really wanted, and when all that we see fades away, He is all that will matter.
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