Part II: Protector or Predator - what kind of man are you?

"Wild at Heart" has been a huge thing, at least in the Christian community lately. It's call for boys to be men, it's declaration that all the longings for beauty and battle in men are God given and to be honored and embraced. But how does that translate to our culture of latte's and LCD TV's? I have a few hints. But first lets start at the place that gets me going... What really ticks me off.

boys. We treat girls like hockey cards, like we're racking up masculinity points. Take a minute and evaluate your behavior around girls and I'm sure many of you will have seen, if not taken part in this kind of behavior.
The more attractive girls that we have around us, the more of a man we are. If you have one, really good looking girl hanging around you, that trumps the other guys two not-so-good looking girls that hang around him. And on and on we go.

This is the first kind of guy: The predator. He prowls around preying on the feeling of his female friends, trying to get them as attached to him as possible so that he can lay claim to the most "man points". So he'll do things like have long talks, spend one on one time, flirt excessively - all so that he can have the strongest attachment with the girl, but not a boyfriend/girlfriend attachment! No way! That would imply commitment. And when the ball drops, and it turns out that the girl had feeling for him, it goes like this, "Oh, what? We're just friends? I can't believe you thought that, I had no idea!!" How do I know this? Because I participated, and on some level will probably always participate in this evil little game. It comes from getting your needs met in the opposite sex instead of God. Your needs for confidence and masculinity. But I aspire to be a protector. And some days I do better than others.

The protector sees girls not as points, but as responsibilities. Each young lady that is your friend puts you in the place of responsibility to fight and protect her heart. That means you watch what you say, you don't imply more than you want out of the relationship. That means you watch how flirty you are, you don't imply more than you want out of the relationship. And it means you are wiling to have the DTR talk (define the relationship) as often as it takes to make sure that your coming across the way you intend: as a loving brother. YOU PROTECT HER HEART!

So where does this fight come in? Well, you have to fight yourself. You have to fight to keep your mind on who you are before God, because if you don't, you will feel insecure and will need to have your confidence boosted by your girl friends, and therefore become a predator instead of a protector.

If you don't believe in Jesus Christ, then step up! This is the cause you've been waiting for! The fight to make a difference for eternity, when all the history books are gone! The fight against all the wishy washy nothingness that this world is offering people. You know it's crap! You'll never be perfect, but that's why He died, with everything you will ever do wrong, on His shoulders, taking down to hell and leaving it there.
Again! The ones who profess belief are just as bad at getting sucked in to the meaningless goals of career, sex, and money as those who don't. Yes, we've trading the One who thought of everything we love, for the stuff that He made. We do it often. But there are two ways to respond: take up the sword, or be taken captive.

More on that next week.

Intro: Why love without Jesus doesn't work.

An Intro. I am young. 25, soon 26. I am single, and I have had my share of relationships. I haven't written anything this focused or public because I want all the people I know to be able to read it, both those who profess faith in Jesus Christ and those who don't, and I honestly didn't know how to go about it. Until now. So if anyone finds this somewhere out there, please humbly explore these thoughts, my hope is that they will lead you to true love.

I can't think of a word that is more used, misused, and controversial than the word "love". However for the Bible believer it is laid out very simply:

Corinthians 13:4-8:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

I think the honest person, if they examine their lives and how they treated the ones they "loved," will admit that this is beyond their grasp. I know it is beyond mine alone.

Before I continue, I want people to honestly think about what it would be like to be loved like this. Maybe just take one part, " it is not self-seeking". To have someone love us so much that they do not care about the consequences to themselves, but only what is best for us. Who will take the risk of saying or doing something that will forever banish their love from their life, but will do it anyway for their love's joy. Not just when they are dating, or on their honeymoon, but ALWAYS. I will stop there, but I would seriously encourage further reflection.

Humans are like Nalgene's, we have to be filled and refilled with love. We cannot simply give love, we have to get it from somewhere. Some people find it in fairly common things, other people. Some people find it in things not so conventional like pets for example. So everybody enters a relationship with a need, both parties. Now, this creates a problem for the "never self-seeking" part of love. What if the person you love does not return the love? Well, then, you go somewhere else for it. But where? To another person that needs love. But see, if everybody is a Nalgene, then eventually, everyone will run out, and we need to go to the eternal fresh water glacier that is God.

That's right. The only way to pour from our Nalgene into others without getting anything back, is to go to God. So before we say, "Till death do we part," you need access to the glacier, or you will just be leeching from your partner, and you will never be able to love them the way you really do want to love them: without the need for anything back from them. Think about it, if we could love without needing anything back, what would happen to divorce? Now, I know some people have been walked out on, my condolences. But if two people went into a relationship with the intention of only giving to their spouse, divorce would be unheard of.

But to get there we need Jesus Christ. You see, we have screwed up. We have worshiped other gods, sinned. We have all sinned. God gave us every good thing you can imagine for His glory. Food, drink, laughter, sex, relationships, music, art, literature, sports, EVERYTHING GOOD. but we have turned and worshiped them instead. We have sacrificed time, money, and everything else we could get our hands on to pleasing these false god. Just look at your average infatuated girl or football fan. We are worshiping false gods. Not to mention that little incident in the garden of Eden with the fruit (Genesis 3).

As a result, God, being a just God must punish us. But because He loved us, He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, that the punishment that was due to us would fall on Him, so that we could be with Him again. We could talk to Him, walk with Him, and give our worship to Him, rather than sports cars, lite beer and naked people. After all, why wouldn't the Creator be more worthy than the things He created? So we confess that we have done wrong, and believe that Jesus Christ paid for everything we ever have or ever will do wrong, and we are hooked up with the eternal glacier.

Now, what's disappointing is those that have already claimed faith in Jesus Christ are just as bad as those who have not in the area of trying to be filled by other things than "the eternal freshwater glacier," but more on that later. So that is why loving people, TRULY loving your wife, your kids, your family, and your friends is impossible without Jesus Christ, in the most simple way I can explain it.

I hope to continue this, something of a series. So next time will be:

Protector or Predator: What kind of man are you?

(obviously more targeted at males, but girls, feel free to read!)